Five Reasons Why My Brain Differs From a Boy's

In many ways I do think like a man but here are some reasons I can still tell my brain is female...Is it worrying that I can only find five?

1. Even when consuming large amounts of alcohol my standards do not slip to that of UGLEH

2. I am never blinded by blonde

3. If two girls get in on in front of me I think 'fuck off'

4. When a girl says she has no female friends I don't feel sorry for her and think she's one of the lads, I think 'there's something not right here - bitch alert'

5. I understand most of the time why people do what they do

Ten Chat Up Lines I WILL Use...Soon

I don't use pick up lines ever but I plan on using these ridiculous ones at some point in the next 6 months as part of my grand social experiment. I'll see how quickly I get laid/slapped/ignored...

1. I drink your milkshake

2. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you

3. Excuse me, do you know where I can find the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

4. Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't

5. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

6. [When she walks in the room shout loudly near her] DIBS!

7. I'm like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince...You choose

8. Meow

9. Can I show you what I want to do to you using sign language?

10. When it come to cuttin the monkey I can get it wet